Jokes of the day

Cookies

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort […] More

Mongoose

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose.” “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of snakes. […] More

Colors

A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, “An enemy ship is approaching us!” The captain replies calmly, “Go get my red shirt.” The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. […] More

A little head

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, “You know, I’m not gay but […] More

Accidentally kissed

A Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer are sitting in a train carriage together. The train goes into a tunnel and there is complete darkness. Suddenly there is a kissing sound then the sound of a really hard slap. When the train comes out the tunnel, the Englishman and Claudia are sitting as if nothing […] More

Rotten luck

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in ‘Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?” A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, “I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?” He […] More

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