Jokes of the day

The Old Typewriter

The boys had been up in the attic together helping with some cleaning. The kids uncovered an old manual typewriter and asked her, “Hey Mom, what’s this?” “Oh, that’s an old typewriter,” she answered, thinking that would satisfy their curiosity. “Well, what does it do?” they queried. “I’ll show you,” she said and returned with […] More

24 Hours Left

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for s*x. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey,you know I […] More

Lie detector

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. He asks his son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?” “At school.” The robot slaps the son. “Okay, I went to the movies!” The father asks, “Which one?” “Harry Potter.” The robot slaps the […] More

Let him believe

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God… “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the […] More

The Date

A man drives his date up to lovers lane and parks. “I have to be honest with you” the woman says as the guy makes his move. “I`m a hooker”. The man thinks about this for a bit and decides he`s ok with it. He agrees to pay her $25 and they go at it. […] More

Fastest Turtle

A guy comes walking into a bar with a little turtle in his hand. The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The guy notices a dog laying down on the other side of the bar. The bartender asks […] More

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