Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook.
The first old guy said, “My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved this morning, I cut my face.”
The second old fogey one-upped him and said, “My hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers.”
The third old man laughed and said, “That’s nothing. My hands shake so bad that when I took a pisś yesterday, I came three times!”