“There are three different stages of marriage” said Dad to his son on the boy’s wedding day.
“When you’re newlyweds, you have se* wherever and whenever you want it – the house, the garden, in the supermarket, all over the place.
But then comes stage 2. After you’ve been married for some time, se* is usually confined to the bedroom.
And then comes stage 3. Many, many years on in a marriage, the most se* you get is when you pass each other on the stairs and say ‘F*ck off!’ ”