bar jokes

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  • All in the Name!

    A guy walk into a bar and he orders a whiskey. He sits down and just before he takes a sip of his whiskey a guy runs in and says, “Bill! Your house burnt down!” So he runs outside but then he thinks, “I don’t have a house.” So he goes back into the bar […] More

  • A Night Out!

    An Irishman’s been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober […] More

  • Shots

    A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He gulps it down and peeks into his shirt pocket. He orders another shot of whisky, gulps it down and peeks into his short pocket. He orders a third shot and does the same thing. After the sixth shot, he asks the bartender […] More

  • Not Guilty!

    A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job… He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it. He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the […] More

  • Drunkard’s Truth!

    Late one Friday night the policemen spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven […] More

  • A real hurry!

    A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive thirty-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him. Then, without pausing, he downs each one. “Whew,” the bartender remarks, “you seem to be in a hurry.” “You would be, too, if you had what I have.” “What do you have?” […] More