Doctor Jokes | Hot Jokes

Dynamite

There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was “war”. The first person comes up onto the stage and says, “I’m an atomic bomb.” He gets his applause and steps down. The second person comes up and says, “I’m a hydrogen bomb.” Again, there’s applause and he steps down. […] More

Don’t Be Nervous

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son. “Yes Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t […] More

Constipated Worker

A construction worker tells his doctor, “I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a few minutes and says, “Lean over the table.” After he does so, the doctor whacks him on his ass, with a baseball bat. A loud “CRACK!” is heard, and the doctor sends the man to the bathroom. After coming out of […] More

Health Minister

The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward. He asks the head of psychology, “How do you determine if a patient is cured.” The psychologist explains: “We take them to the bathtub, which is filled with water, hand them a spoon and a cup and ask them to empty the bathtub.” “I see,” says the […] More

Same things as you do

A man went to the doctor feeling very depressed. “What you need,” said the doctor, “is some companionship. Go out and find a girl who likes to do the same things as you do.” “But doc, why would I want a girl who likes whistling at other girls!” More

Bleeding Man

Perhaps you’ve heard of the man who thought he was dead, when in reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive. Nothing seemed to work. […] More

Dr`s Receptionist

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?” “There’s something wrong with my d*ck,” he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.” “Why not? […] More

The doctor and the plumber

A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did some mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous, I don’t even make this much money!” The plumber replied, “Neither did I when I was […] More

The Nervous Surgeon

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. “Yes, Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t […] More

Patient’s Dilemma…

A woman called up the hospital and said, ”I want to know if the patient Rita Brown in Room No 1438 is getting better,” The RMO replied, ”She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home […] More

Best Patients

Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’ The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.’ The third surgeon says, ‘No, I […] More

Same age

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can’t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the […] More

Latest stories