Heaven

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    Parking Spot

    A guy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking spot. Looking up to heaven, he said: “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give […] More

  • Feline Heaven

    A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.” The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had […] More

  • Meals on Wheels

    A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter met the cat at the gate and said, “Welcome. Is there anything you didn’t have on Earth that I can get for you, here in Heaven?”. The cat thought for a moment and said, “Yes, I always had to sleep on a hard floor, could I […] More

  • Christmas Eve

    Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas […] More

  • The key to heaven

    Mother Superior called a young novice into her office one evening. ”Now dear, I want you to give the Father his nightly bath. You are to do as he tells you and be sure to report to me in the morning,” she said. The novice agreed to do as she was told and went to […] More

  • Adam and Eve

    Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in. A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates. “Who was the first man?” asked Peter. “Adam.” “That’s correct. Enter.” Soon another man came along. “Where did Adam and Eve live?” “Eden.” That’s correct. Enter.” Then Mother […] More

  • Clocks

    Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day. When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, ”We have a clock for each person on earth […] More

  • A Marriage Made in Heaven

    A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven. St. Peter tells them that he’ll do his […] More

  • What do you suggest

    A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.  Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”  Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in […] More

  • Poor lawyer

    One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all die and go to Heaven. St. Peter`s there, and when they get to the gate, St. Peter informs them that there will be a test to get into Heaven: they each have to answer one question. To the teacher, he says, “What was the […] More