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  • Five facts about you

    Five facts about you you you you you you you you you you you you you!!! 1. You’re so lazy You didn’t read all the You’s. 2. You didn’t notice I put a Yoo. 3. You are now looking to find out. 4. You are laughing because you realize there is no ‘Yoo’ and you’ve […] More

  • How old do you think I am?

    A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?” […] More

  • Well, I tried..

    There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. He went to the doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back. The elderly man came back the next day; the specimen cup was empty and the lid […] More

  • The voice

    I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said “Hi!, how are you?” Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”. The voice said “So what are you up to?”. I said, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here!”. From next door, “Can I come over?”. Annoyed, […] More

  • No ears

    Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, “What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?” The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.” The interviewer says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll […] More

  • A Child’s Prayer

    While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child’s voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child’s words. When I spotted a girl perched on a rock, I realized why her words had made no sense: She was repeating the alphabet. “Why are you saying your […] More

  • A Blonde’s Complaint!

    A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!” “Yes, Ma’am?” said the librarian looking up at her. “I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible.” Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked, “What was wrong with it?” “It had way too many characters and […] More

  • Baby Feeding!

    A man is sitting next to a woman who’s trying to breast-feed her baby in a bus. The baby refuses to suck the breast & the mother warns, “If you don’t suck, I shall give it to the uncle next to me.” The baby still refuses. After about 20 minutes, the woman repeats the threat. […] More

  • Finding Her Place

    On her way back from the theater sitting, a blonde asked a man at the end of the row, “Pardon me, but did I step on your foot a few minutes ago?” Man hoping for an apology said, “Indeed you did.” Blonde nodded, and said, “Oh good. Then this is my row.” More

  • Free Christmas Tree!

    My son asked me if we could have a tree this Christmas. I told him I didn’t want to pay for a tree and that’s that. He wouldn’t stop asking though, every five minutes he wanted to know why we couldn’t have a tree. In the end I grabbed my axe and stormed out of […] More

  • Problem on the Farm!

    A young farmhand is driving around the farm and making repairs to the fences. After a few minutes, he makes a call to his boss on the two-way radio and says, “Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of the truck. He’s still wriggling. […] More

  • The Art of Fishing

    Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if your going […] More

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