Joke of the day

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  • He heart of the matter

    A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object. “I do have three hearts,” said the doctor. “The first is from […] More

  • Technical fault

    A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer were all being led to the guillotine to be executed. They ask the priest if he wants to face upward or downward when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to die face up, so that he will be looking toward heaven when he […] More

  • The Lion’s Wedding

    A lion was getting married. At his wedding was a mouse shouting away and congratulating the lion, “All the best my brother…. good luck…..” Seeing the mouse shouting away claiming that the lion getting married is his brother another Lion grabs the mouse and asks, “Who the hell do you think you are? How can […] More

  • Christmas Tree!

    It’s Christmas time and Bill and Joe decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Joe brushes off the first tree, and stands […] More

  • Dynamite

    There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was “war”. The first person comes up onto the stage and says, “I’m an atomic bomb.” He gets his applause and steps down. The second person comes up and says, “I’m a hydrogen bomb.” Again, there’s applause and he steps down. […] More

  • Car accident trick

    A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt. After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, “Wow, look at our cars — there’s nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends […] More

  • Intelligent dog !

    A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, “We`ve got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.” Her husband replied, “Well, lots of dogs can do that.” The wife responded, ” But we`ve never subscribed to any papers!” More

  • Adam and Eve

    Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in. A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates. “Who was the first man?” asked Peter. “Adam.” “That’s correct. Enter.” Soon another man came along. “Where did Adam and Eve live?” “Eden.” That’s correct. Enter.” Then Mother […] More

  • Beautiful…

    There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later […] More

  • Do the same thing

    A boss called one of his workers into the office. “Now listen, Simms, you’re going to have to pull your socks up or I’ll have to sack you. For the past few weeks you’ve been constantly late, you’ve made silly mistakes and you’ve not been civil to your fellow workers. What do you have to say for yourself?” “I’m […] More

  • Old Crush!

    A husband takes the wife to a night club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big time. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works! The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!” The husband says, “Looks […] More

  • Basic Maths!

    The school teacher was taking the class in basic maths. She said to little Johnny, “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many have you got?” “Seven,” replied Johnny. “No, Johnny,” explained the teacher. “That’s not the right answer. Listen. If I give you two apples, then I […] More

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