lawyer

Subterms

Latest stories

  • Pretending

    There was a loser who couldn’t get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said, “It’s simple. I just say, I’m a lawyer.” So, the guy went up to a pretty woman and asked her out. After she said no, he told her […] More

  • That’s Strange

    A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: […] More

  • Robbing the robbers!

    A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer`s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain`t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.” The boss screamed: “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! […] More

  • An Honest Mistake!

    A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: “What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?” the minister asked. “Try to fix it if it’s big; ignore it if it’s insignificant,” replied the lawyer. “What do you do?” The minister replied, “Oh, more or less the same. Let me give […] More

  • Smart sheriff

    A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he’s smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, “What for?” The sheriff responds, “You didn’t come to […] More

  • Free Advice At Social Affairs?

    A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and remarked, “I never know how to handle the situation when I’m asked for medical advice during […] More

  • Loopholes

    A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife. She rushed in and said, “What is it, honey?” He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea. She ran and got it, prepared to […] More

  • Lighthouse keeper

    A fishing boat had crashed onto the rocks in heavy seas and the lighthouse keeper was taken to court for negligence. His lawyer asked him “Did you carry out your duties on the night in question?” The lighthouse keeper described his work, how the machinery flashed the light on and off and how he constantly […] More

  • Broken Arm

    Two doctors were discussing a case in a mental ward. The first doctor asked what had triggered such a profound depressive psychosis in the patient. The second one answered, “He’s a lawyer. One day at home, he started to think about how much money he’d screwed his partners and clients out of over the last […] More

  • What do you suggest

    A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates.  Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.”  Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in […] More