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  • Burglar

    “Get this.” said the English bloke to his mates, “Last night while I was down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house. “Did he get anything?” his mates asked. “yeah, a broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home […] More

  • Sausage Factory

    There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought,”This should impress him! He showed his son a machine […] More

  • You are ABCDEF…

    After 15 years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her. The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said, “ABCDEFGHIJK.” “What does that mean?” She asked. “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot!!!” he replied. Wife Smiling asked, “So sweet of you honey. What about IJK?” He […] More

  • Will I be acquitted?

    In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.” Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman’s lined face, […] More

  • Facebook Love

    My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this because when I wrote the Facebook status “I’m getting a divorce,” he was the first one to click Like. More

  • The trick side

    Peter and Paul were talking about their wives. “Have you ever done it doggie style with your wife?” asked Peter. “Well, I don’t think it qualifies,” replied Paul, “She likes the trick side of it.” “Sounds like kinky stuff, huh?” said Peter. “Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and […] More

  • Spaghetti

    A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have […] More

  • A Marriage Made in Heaven

    A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven. St. Peter tells them that he’ll do his […] More

  • Devil in the church

    One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I […] More