Office Jokes

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  • Imagination

    Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the manager asked. “When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years’ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you’ve ever had.” “Well,” the young man […] More

  • Need a Break!

    I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. Santa, my co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending […] More

  • Human Resources Officer

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “And what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to […] More

  • Rules For Work +

    1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2. If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it’s going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me […] More

  • The key to heaven

    Mother Superior called a young novice into her office one evening. ”Now dear, I want you to give the Father his nightly bath. You are to do as he tells you and be sure to report to me in the morning,” she said. The novice agreed to do as she was told and went to […] More

  • Talking Dog

    A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.” “Incredible!” exclaimed the man. “I […] More

  • Do the same thing

    A boss called one of his workers into the office. “Now listen, Simms, you’re going to have to pull your socks up or I’ll have to sack you. For the past few weeks you’ve been constantly late, you’ve made silly mistakes and you’ve not been civil to your fellow workers. What do you have to say for yourself?” “I’m […] More

  • I don’t know

    The young man was obsessed by the beautiful secretary in his office. He just had to kiss her and touch her body and … One day, he plucked up the courage to speak to her. “I think you’re so gorgeous, if I paid you $250, would you come into the storeroom with me so that I can […] More

  • Few days off work

    I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me […] More

  • Is the Client Always Right?

    A graphic designer on the phone with his client. Designer: Hi. I’m just updating the copy for your form and was wondering if you meant to say “programs” for the third question. Client: No! What I sent along was completely accurate. Just copy it over exactly as it says. I’ll explain it nice and slowly […] More

  • Want a day off work?

    So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away […] More

  • Get a job!

    The Social Security said to Johnny, “Why don’t you get a job?” “What for?” he replied. “So you can put some money in the bank until one day you’ll have enough to retire and you can stop working.” “But I’m not working now,” he retorted. More

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