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  • A Push Please

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3:30 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” […] More

  • Marriage Counseling

    A husband and wife came for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved […] More

  • Winning toast

    Patrick hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between the legs of me wife!” And with that he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night. In bed later that night, he told his wife: “Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of […] More

  • Gone Camping

    Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect lake camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Rob’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping […] More

  • Technology HURTS…

    A wife was calling out for her husband from the kitchen to help her with the dishes, but did not get a response. She went looking for him in the bed room and found hubby asleep on his files, tired of work. She walked closer to him, looked at the innocent face, played with his […] More

  • My Wife Won’t Like it…

    One day I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course we were living at in Sarasota, heard the noise and called out, “Are you okay, what’s your name?” “It’s Jack, and I’m OK thanks,” I replied. “Jack, forget your troubles. Come […] More

  • Good reason

    A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, […] More

  • Better Both Visit the Doctor

    This old man in his eighty’s got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, “Where are you going ?” He said, “I’m going to the doctor.” And she said, “Why? Are you sick?” “No,” he said. “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” So his wife got up […] More

  • Vegetative state

    A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a “Living Will” “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out […] More

  • Birthday

    A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, “So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?” She says, “Bernie, I want a divorce.” “My goodness,” he says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.” More

  • You are ABCDEF…

    After 15 years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her. The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said, “ABCDEFGHIJK.” “What does that mean?” She asked. “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot!!!” he replied. Wife Smiling asked, “So sweet of you honey. What about IJK?” He […] More

  • Ex-Husband

    This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks, “I notice you’ve been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?” “Yes” she replies, “He’s my ex-husband, and has been drinking like […] More

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