Wake up!

Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn’t start, and it was too late to call the local service station. The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn’t even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife.
No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife tapped Charlie on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her.
“I couldn’t do that,” he whispered: “Your husband is my best friend!”
“Listen, sugar,” she whispered back, “there isn’t anything in the whole wide world that could wake him up now.”
“I can’t believe that,” Charlie said: “If I get on top of you and screw you, he’ll wake up, won’t he?
“Sugar, he certainly won’t. If you don’t believe me, pluck a hair out of his @$$ and see if that wakes him.”
Charlie did just that. He was amazed when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife’s side of the bed and had sex with her. When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn’t long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie scrumped the woman, he first pulled out one of the husband’s @$$ hairs.
The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke and muttered: “Listen, Charlie, I don’t mind you scrumpin’ my wife, but for Pete’s sake, stop using my @$$ for a scoreboard!”

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