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Monthly Archives: July 2014

Too Young to Die!

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die,” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to ... Read More »

Eye Check Up

A Russian, visiting India, went for an eye check up. The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy…, he’s my cousin. Read More »

Sausage Factory

There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought,”This should impress him! He showed his son a machine and said “Son, this is ... Read More »

Millions of clocks

A man died and he went to heaven. In heaven there were very huge walls with millions of clocks attached on it. Sometimes a hand on a clock was moving a little bit. The man called Saint Peter: “Mr. Peter, may I ask you a question… What are all these clocks doing here?” Saint Peter: “Every time when a woman ... Read More »

What’s for supper?

This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper. Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. ... Read More »

Please stand up

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?” After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. “Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked. ... Read More »

Second Appendix

A man phoned his doctor very late at night saying his wife appeared to have Appendicitis. “That’s impossible,” the physician replied, peeved at being woken up after midnight. “She had an appendectomy last year. Don’t be stupid. Only a moron like you would wake me up for something this idiotic. Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?” “No, ... Read More »

Having a Bad Day

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric socket. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she ran outside and grabbed a handy plank of wood and smacked him with it, breaking his arm in two ... Read More »

Being Possible

The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room. “A football player.” “A doctor.” “An astronaut.” “The president.” “A fireman.” “A teacher.” “A race car driver.” Everyone that is, except Little Johnny. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still. So she said ... Read More »

Enforcing The Rules

Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, a recent college graduate trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, “Dressed a little casually today, aren’t we?” The ... Read More »

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