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Monthly Archives: August 2016

What Is Your Bed Number

In a Psychiatric Hospital, a Journalist asks the Doctor: “How do you determine whether to admit a person as a patient or not? Dr: Well … we’d fill a bathtub with water and then give a teaspoon, a glass and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub. Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use ... Read More »

Accident policy

An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy. The agent inquires, “Have you ever had an accident?” “Never,” the cowboy responds. “However, just recently a horse kicked in two of my ribs, and back a couple years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle.” “Wouldn’t you call these accidents?” says the puzzled agent. “Nah,” the cowboy ... Read More »

Hi, Daddy!

A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, “Hi, Daddy!” and she began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work. When it was finally the wife’s turn to talk she ... Read More »

What kind of filling?

A little boy called Ben was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling. “Now, young man,” asked the dentist, “what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?” “I would prefer chocolate, please,” replied Ben. Read More »

Well behaved

First Lady: “My son is very well behaved.” Second Lady: “How can you say that? Wasn’t he arrested and imprisoned for 5 years.” First Lady: “Yes, but he got out after 2 years for good behavior inside the jail.” Read More »

What’s The Difference

What’s the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? If you say, ‘I hate my mother’, a psychiatrist will ask, “Why do you say that?” Whereas a psychologist will say, “Thank you for sharing that with us.” Read More »

You did a great job

The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. “You did a great job,” he said and handed the man a check. “Also, in order to thank you, here’s an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie.” Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the ... Read More »

Not eating chicken

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich. He said, “Hey, how ... Read More »

What did you do?

Two old ladies met in the supermarket. After inquiring about each other’s health, the conversation turned to their respective husbands. “Oh,” said one, “Bert died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead in the middle of the vegetable patch.” “Oh, my!” exclaimed the other. “What ... Read More »

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