Live Shark
“Can I buy a live shark here?” “Lady, what do you want with a live shark?” “A neighbor’s cat has been eating my goldfish, and I want to teach him a lesson.” More
Animal Jokes
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Good animal jokes are hard to come by, but we’ve collected our favorites here to get you howling, hooting and roaring with laughter. EPIC!
Don’t forget to share them with family and friends!
Subterms
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Surprising the cow
The farmer and his wife are entertaining the local bigwigs when their son runs in and announces to his father in a loud voice, “Dad, dad, the bull’s f**king the cow.” After a moment of shocked silence, the farmer turns to his son and calmly says, “Next time, son, be a little less explicit. You should have said. “The bull […] More
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The guilt!
This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor`s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its […] More
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Good advice…
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when, all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, “BARK!!” and the cat runs away. “See?” says the mother mouse to her baby, “how important it is for you to learn a foreign language?” More
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A boy with a monkey
A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, “Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo.” The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the […] More
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Foul Mouthed Parrot
A man went to a pet shop looking to buy a parrot. The shop had several parrots but one was priced much lower than the others. When the man asked why one was so much cheaper than the others, the pet shop owner assured the man that he did not want the cheaper one because […] More
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Taming The Lion
Two unemployed guys are talking. One says, “I’m going to become a lion tamer.” The other replies, “That’s crazy, you don’t know nothing about no lion taming.” “Yes I do!” “Well, OK, answer me this. When one of those lions comes at you all roaring and biting, what you gonna do?” “Well, then I take […] More
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