Doctor Jokes

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  • Four Surgeons

    Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order”. The third surgeon said, “I […] More

  • Irish Sugar Test

    One day Paddy, an Irishman, goes into a pharmacy, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the pharmacist and says, “Could you taste this for me, please?” The pharmacist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his […] More

  • The Big Secret

    An engineer and a psychiatrist meet up for their 20th college reunion. The engineer says, “I’m surprised to see you still looking so young. I’d have thought listening to people’s problems all day would have given you a mass of wrinkles.” The psychiatrist says, “You think we listen?” More

  • Medication

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed To me has to be taken for the rest of my life?” “Yes, I’m afraid so,” the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just […] More

  • NASA Mars Mission

    NASA was interviewing professionals they were planning on sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way trip, the guy would never return to Earth. The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. “One million […] More

  • That dead

    A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis. He called in his receptionist to show her. She took one look and said, “That’s just like my Harry’s.” “You mean he’s got one that long?” the mortician asked. “No,” she replied. “That dead.” More

  • Aren’t real

    A young woman goes to her doctor after noticing two small circular rash marks one on each side of her inner thigh. The doctor instructs the woman to undress and sit on the table and spread her legs. Sitting between the young womans legs, the doctor looks up at the young woman and asks if […] More

  • College letters

    A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard […] More

  • Medical Check-up

    An old codger goes to visit his doctor about painful peeing. His wife goes with him because the poor old bloke is hard of hearing. After an examination the Doctor says to the old man, “Right, I’ll need you to leave a urine, semen and feces samples for analysis.” The old man didn’t quite hear […] More

  • Gallery Sale

    An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. “Well, I have good news and bad news,” the owner responded. “The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it […] More

  • Better Both Visit the Doctor

    This old man in his eighty’s got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, “Where are you going ?” He said, “I’m going to the doctor.” And she said, “Why? Are you sick?” “No,” he said. “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” So his wife got up […] More

  • Looks good…

    There is this guy named Leon. One day Leon decided to go for walk. He runs into his old neighbor Joe. “Hey Leon yous looking good” Joe says. “I feels good” said Leon “But Leon you smells bad” said Joe Well Leon kept on going, he then ran into his preacher. “Hey Leon yous looking […] More

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