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Treat a cough

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle ... Read More »

A Risk For All Seasons

My elderly mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk. Unimpressed, Mom said to me, “I’ll have them know I’m a winter, spring, and summer risk too!” Read More »

Anything I can do?

A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. “That’s such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn’t there anything I can do?” pleaded the patient. “Marry a lawyer,” the doctor advised. “It will be the longest six months of your life.” Read More »

An Apple A Day

Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” “That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick! I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!” Read More »

Littleman

Patient: Doctor, I have a little man in my head, and he’s cursing all the time! Doctor: Well, this problem is really easy to fix! It will cost you $1000. Patient: Doctor, do you know what the little guy just said? Read More »

Some hormones

A man went to a GP and complained of listlessness. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “You ought to try some hormones.” “Like they give to women?” the patient asked, dumbfounded. “Are you serious?” “Everybody uses hormones and for different purposes. They even give them to racehorses,” replied the doctor. The patient agreed to a shot and returned two ... Read More »

Going Bananas

As part of the admission procedure in a hospital, a nurse will ask the patient if they are allergic to anything. If they are, the nurse prints it on an allergy band that goes on the patient’s wrist. Once when the nurse asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, the woman said she couldn’t eat bananas. Several hours ... Read More »

It’s About My Height

Lady (to her doctor): “What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.” Doctor: “How come?” Lady: “According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches.” Read More »

Why?

A Spanish patient goes to an English doctor. Doctor: “What is it that’s brought you here?” Patient: “An ambulance. Why?” Read More »

3 meals a day

Doctor to a woman: “You look exhausted, have you been taking 3 meals a day like I told you?” Woman replies: “Oh, my… I thought you said 3 males a day.” Read More »

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