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An Apple A Day

Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” “That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick! I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!” Read More »


Patient: Doctor, I have a little man in my head, and he’s cursing all the time! Doctor: Well, this problem is really easy to fix! It will cost you $1000. Patient: Doctor, do you know what the little guy just said? Read More »

Some hormones

A man went to a GP and complained of listlessness. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “You ought to try some hormones.” “Like they give to women?” the patient asked, dumbfounded. “Are you serious?” “Everybody uses hormones and for different purposes. They even give them to racehorses,” replied the doctor. The patient agreed to a shot and returned two ... Read More »

Going Bananas

As part of the admission procedure in a hospital, a nurse will ask the patient if they are allergic to anything. If they are, the nurse prints it on an allergy band that goes on the patient’s wrist. Once when the nurse asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, the woman said she couldn’t eat bananas. Several hours ... Read More »

It’s About My Height

Lady (to her doctor): “What l am worried about is my height and not my weight.” Doctor: “How come?” Lady: “According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet, 8 inches.” Read More »


A Spanish patient goes to an English doctor. Doctor: “What is it that’s brought you here?” Patient: “An ambulance. Why?” Read More »

3 meals a day

Doctor to a woman: “You look exhausted, have you been taking 3 meals a day like I told you?” Woman replies: “Oh, my… I thought you said 3 males a day.” Read More »

Doctor Knows Best

Patient: I have a problem doctor. I feel depressed and unhappy. Doctor: You should cut down on your drinking. Patient: I don’t drink and have never touched a drop in my life. Doctor: You should cut down on your smoking. Patient: I don’t smoke either doctor. Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing. Patient: Good heavens! I haven’t had a ... Read More »

Which bean

A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?” Read More »

Costly Wakeup

An anesthesiologist has a stock answer to the usual question asked by pre-surgical patients: “How much will the anesthesia cost?” “Oh, about $100.00. $1.00 to go to sleep and $99.00 for waking up. Most patients buy the whole package.” Read More »

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