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  • Scary Flight

    After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the stewardess announces over the intercom that “we’re just waiting for the pilots.” The passengers look out the window and see two men, dressed as pilots walking towards the plane. Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind. There are murmurs among the passengers, […] More

  • Do Cats Go to Heaven?

    A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.” The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had […] More

  • Men vs Women Brains

    Men vs Women Brain Analyses: 1. MULTI-TASKING Women’s brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time. Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook. Men’s brains are designed to concentrate on only one thing at a time. Men can not watch TV and talk over the phone at the same time. […] More

  • 12- Pack

    A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ”Well, you see that 3-pack? That’s for when you’re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for […] More

  • WHAT??!!

    A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: Da-ad…” “What?” I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” No. You had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…” WHAT?” I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??” I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have […] More

  • Good reason

    A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, […] More

  • Big Nuts

    A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard and proceeds to ask the class if they can tell her how the tail is attached to the cat. Little Mary has the first attempt and answers, “By fur Miss?” The teacher replies, “Not quite right Mary, but a good try.” Meanwhile all during […] More

  • Son of a Bitch

    A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight. Three plus four, that son of a bitch is seven….” His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?” The little boy answered, “I’m doing my math homework, Mom.” […] More

  • Thanksgiving turkey

    One Thanksgiving, a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, “Happy Thanksgiving!” Without hesitation my friend knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, “He gave you the bird!” More

  • Designated decoy

    One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his […] More

  • The answer

    A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, “I guess we answered that question!” More

  • Dead Again

    A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral […] More

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