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One claw

A man went into a restaurant and asked for crab. When the waiter brought it, the man objected, “Just a minute, that crab only has one claw!” “Yes, said the waiter, it was in a fight.” “Well,” said the man, “Bring me the winner!” Read More »

Which bean

A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?” Read More »

Costly Wakeup

An anesthesiologist has a stock answer to the usual question asked by pre-surgical patients: “How much will the anesthesia cost?” “Oh, about $100.00. $1.00 to go to sleep and $99.00 for waking up. Most patients buy the whole package.” Read More »

The Painless Dentist

When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the ‘Painless’ dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim. “He’s a fake!” Veronica told her friends. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!” Read More »

About weekends

A pair of men were talking about their weekends. “I went out last Friday and got drunk out of my mind,” the first man said. “In the morning, I woke up next to this ugly, fat broad who was snoring and grunting.” “That sounds awful,” the second man replied. “Not really,” the first man said. “At least I managed to ... Read More »

Who is your dad?

A kid was crying sitting outside his house. A passer by asked: Why are you crying? Kid: My parents are fighting inside the house. Passer By: Who is your dad? Kid: That is what the fight is about. Read More »

How they like it

Chris and Pat are in their residence listening to the neighbor’s dog, who has been barking for hours and hours. Finally, Chris jumps up and says, “I’ve had enough of this!” He rushes downstairs and a bit of time passes before he finally returns. Pat says, “The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?” Chris says, “I’ve put ... Read More »

Alaska affair

These two guys had both just got divorced and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, ... Read More »

Does your Mother…

A college student picked up his date at her parent’s home. He’d scraped together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay, she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu – appetizers, lobster, champagne… the works. Finally he asked her, “Does your Mother feed you like this at home?” “No,” she said, “but my ... Read More »

Happy Dad

A mother and father read a bedtime story of a king to their five year old son. As the story concludes, the son says, “Mom, I also want five wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me…” Mom: “And one will put you to sleep!” Son: “No mom, I will still sleep with you.” Mom’s eyes fill ... Read More »

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