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  • Never Talk to the Parrot

    Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, […] More

  • Balcony Life

    Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. “There’s a […] More

  • Looks good…

    There is this guy named Leon. One day Leon decided to go for walk. He runs into his old neighbor Joe. “Hey Leon yous looking good” Joe says. “I feels good” said Leon “But Leon you smells bad” said Joe Well Leon kept on going, he then ran into his preacher. “Hey Leon yous looking […] More

  • 24 Hours Left

    A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for s*x. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey,you know I […] More

  • Let him believe

    One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God… “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the […] More

  • Fastest Turtle

    A guy comes walking into a bar with a little turtle in his hand. The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The guy notices a dog laying down on the other side of the bar. The bartender asks […] More

  • So nice

    Little Johnny’s class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, “it was so nice of you to put my daddy’s picture up there.” More

  • Pregnant with twins

    A blonde goes to the doctor’s and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!” More

  • Silent

    An old couple were sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her. She leaned across to her husband and whispered, “I’ve just let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” He said, “I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid.” More

  • Not to peek

    A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, Mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought […] More

  • Salad for Dinner

    I came home from work this evening and said to my wife, “Are we having salad for dinner?” “Yes we are, how did you know?” she asked. I replied, “Because I can’t hear the smoke alarm.” More

  • Parrot In Flight

    On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whiskey!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whiskey for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out […] More

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