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God and Gifts

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…” “I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…” “I PRAY FOR A NEW STEREO…” His older brother ... Read More »

The Angry Wife

One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend. “Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house..” “Did he get anything?” asked my friend. “Yes,” I said. “A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk!” Read More »

How You Earned It!

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end ... Read More »

The Priest and the Hair Dryer

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?” “Of course. What may I do for you?” “Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? ... Read More »

Traffic Court

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court.” He smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write, ‘I will not run a red light’ five hundred ... Read More »

Daddy’s Trick

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear,” she asked. The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came ... Read More »

Foul Mouthed Parrot

A man went to a pet shop looking to buy a parrot. The shop had several parrots but one was priced much lower than the others. When the man asked why one was so much cheaper than the others, the pet shop owner assured the man that he did not want the cheaper one because it had a very foul ... Read More »

Man and his Curse

A man has a curse, he is only able to say a single word every year. But if he doesn’t say a word that year he can say two the next year, then three, and so on. One day he meets a beautiful woman and wants to ask her to marry him, but he has no words saved up so ... Read More »

Mother-In-Law

A husband and wife had a fight. Wife called her mom: He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you. Mom: No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you! Read More »

Husband and Wine

A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, “I love you!” “Is that you or the wine talking?” asks the husband. “It’s me,” says the wife. “Talking to the wine.” Read More »

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