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Small Town Policeman

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Quiet!” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said be quiet! You’re going to jail!” A ... Read More »

A Marriage Made in Heaven

A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven. St. Peter tells them that he’ll do his best to work on it ... Read More »

Organic Vegetables

During a Coffee Break, two men were talking, “My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market garden.” said the first man. “So were you able to find some?” the second man, asked. “Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, ‘These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'” ... Read More »

Good luck

Two astronauts successfully landed on the moon and transmitted their thoughts and feelings back to mission control. They described the moon’s surface, the temperature, the atmosphere and their own feelings of elation at being there. Just as transmission was going off, one of the astronauts was heard to say, “Good luck Mr Collins”. When the men eventually returned to earth there was a lot of media ... Read More »

Stages of marriage

“There are three different stages of marriage” said Dad to his son on the boy’s wedding day. “When you’re newlyweds, you have se* wherever and whenever you want it – the house, the garden, in the supermarket, all over the place. But then comes stage 2. After you’ve been married for some time, se* is usually confined to the bedroom. ... Read More »

Use it

A married couple is travelling by car from Victoria to Prince George. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed ... Read More »

Attention All!

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL,” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says, “Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was her ... Read More »

Secret of a Happy Marriage!

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all ... Read More »

Getting Married!

A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, “Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?” There was a long pause. Finally, ... Read More »

Just Pull the Plug…

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room. Husband, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer. Read More »

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