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Check Your Levels

A man enters the kitchen, opens the sugar box, looks inside and closes it. He does it again and again. Why? Because the doctor told him to check his sugar levels regularly. Read More »

Old Josh

Old Josh was sat in his garden, sunbathing in the deck chair when he noticed his grand-son kneeling on the lawn with a worm. When he asked his grandson what he was doing, he found that he was trying to push the worm down the hole from which it came. “If you can get that worm back in that hole ... Read More »

Scratch, Scratch

A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident – body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: “Head on boulevard.” He then scratches out his spelling error. “Head on boulevard.” Nope, doesn’t look right – scratch scratch. “Head on boulevard…” dang it! Scratch, scratch. ... Read More »

Cutting Class

“Jill,” a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, “do you mind telling me whose class you’re cutting this time?” “Like,” the young teen replied, “uh, see, okay, like it’s like, I really don’t like, think like, that’s really important, y’know, like because I’m, y’know, like I don’t get anything out of it.” “It’s Mrs. Dull’s English class, isn’t it?” ... Read More »

Just a visit

It doesn’t hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started. During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a ... Read More »

Gift For A Birthday

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses… one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing ... Read More »

Trusting My Mother

I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter. Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, “For the talent show, what do you think I should do, sing or put on a comedy act?” Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, “What’s the difference?” Read More »

Cupid

I don’t know why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day… When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon. Read More »

How Can I Put This Nicely?

Fred: “Do you think I have any brains at all?” John: “Well, how can I put this nicely, I can describe it best like this… If they were to take your brain, roll it into a little ball and roll it down the edge of a razor blade, it would look like a BB rolling down an eight lane freeway.” Read More »

Uninvited Announcement

Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements. Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into my office. “Great news, Scott!” ... Read More »

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