2016

Yearly Archives

Latest stories

  • Father present

    Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day in school, the two boys are showing each […] More

  • No man has ever succeeded

    One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. “I’ll grant you your fondest wish,” the genie said. The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job, a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever […] More

  • The Pickle

    There was a guy on the beach with about 25 gorgeous chicks swarming all around him. Seeing this, a second guy strolls on up to him and asks, “What’s your secret?” The guy whispers, “All you gotta do is stick a pickle in your pants.” In a fluorish, the second guy runs off and stuffs […] More

  • Ice Fishing

    Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secret is. mmmmm […] More

  • 4-letter words

    A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, “How was the honeymoon?” “Oh, Mum,” she replied, “the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…” Suddenly she burst out crying. “But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible […] More

  • Wife’s panties

    Two guys were out walking home from work one afternoon. “Man,” the first guy said, “as soon as I get home, I’m gonna rip my wife’s panties off!” “What’s the rush?” his buddy asked. “The damn elastic in the legs is killing me!” More

  • Have you learned anything?

    I was driving home from work when I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Three days later, I got the same ticket, at the same stop, from the same cop. “So, have you learned anything?” asked the cop. “Yes, I have,” I began. “I’ve learned it’s time to find a new way […] More

  • What A Clown

    A man goes to a doctor. He says he is depressed. He says life seems harsh and cruel. He says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. […] More

  • It isn’t that serious

    “How long have you been driving without a tail light?” asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. “Come on, now,” he […] More

  • Daytime shows

    A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. “Do you watch much television here?” “Only the daytime shows,” the inmate said. “At night we’re locked in our cells and don’t see any television.” “That’s too bad,” the reporter said, “But I do think it is […] More

  • Member of the United States Congress

    A tourist parked his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?” “What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of the United States […] More

  • Plural of “Mongoose”

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a letter. The only problem was that he didn’t know the plural of “Mongoose.” He started the letter: “To whom it may concern, I need two Mongeese.” No, that won’t work. He tried again: “To whom it may concern, […] More

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