2017

Yearly Archives

Latest stories

  • Wake up!

    Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn’t start, and it was too late to call the local service station. The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn’t even a sofa. So Charlie would […] More

  • You can count on us!

    King Arthur was about to embark on a long crusade. Before doing so he called to Merlin to devise a cunning chastity belt for Gwenivere. The belt contained a miniature guillotine. Upon his return, he called to his Knights of the Round Table and had them all strip from the waist down. One by one, […] More

  • Modern Garage Door Opener

    My wife and her friend Karen were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Karen said, “I love my new garage-door opener.” “I love mine too,” my wife replied, and honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage. More

  • Few days

    The doorbell rings. A man opens the door and there’s his mother-in-law on the front step. She asks, “Can I stay here for a few days?” The man says, “Sure you can.” And he closes the door. More

  • I’m Still Ahead

    My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. “I have a higher IQ, did better on my SAT’s, and make more money than you,” she pointed out. “Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead,” I said. She looked mystified. “How do you figure?” “I married […] More

  • Pay them with a smile

    A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, “We feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to […] More

  • What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?

    The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!” More

  • Anything to repay you

    A very horny guy is stranded on an island with a monkey. After a while, he decides to have s*x with the monkey, but the monkey continually slips out of his grip and runs away. One day, a very attractive girl is drowning in the ocean and the guy saves her. She says, “I’ll do […] More

  • Smokey Dinner Call

    My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. Annoyed, I stormed through the house […] More

  • The nurse

    “What do you do?” a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with. “I’m a nurse.” “I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me,” he whispered in her ear. “That would be miraculous. I work on the maternity ward.” More

  • Two jobs

    In order to pay his medical school tuition, a student was working two jobs over the summer. One was as a butcher’s assistant and the other as a hospital orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat. One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up […] More

  • Original Colors

    Teacher : Which is the oldest animal? Student : The zebra. Teacher : How come? Student : Because it’s still in black & white. More

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