2017

Yearly Archives

Latest stories

  • Teaching to swim

    A member of the country club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim. “It takes considerable time and technique,” replied the guard. “First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it […] More

  • Ohh, I need..

    A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!” Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. […] More

  • Three came after two

    Eileen’s two-year-old great-grandson was excited about having his birthday in a few days. When asked how old he would be, he always said he would be four and held up four fingers. His mother tried to explain that he would be three, that three came after two, but he wasn’t convinced. He told her that […] More

  • Serious problem

    Tom went to see her psychiatrist, Dr. Jackson. Tom pleaded to the doctor, “My wife needs help, she thinks she’s ME!” Dr. Jackson said, “That seems to be a serious problem. I will need to see her. Can you get her here to see me.” Tom replied, “But, Dr. Jackson, here I am!” More

  • A proud man

    Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why didn’t you take the food instead of the cash out of the till? Burglar: Your Honor! I’m a proud man, sir, and I make it a rule to pay for everything I eat. More

  • Discrimination

    Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” To which […] More

  • What’s your excuse?

    Wife: “What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?” Husband: “I was golfing with friends, my dear.” Wife: “What? At 2AM?!” Husband: “Yes dear, we used night clubs.” More

  • My Mother Had Three Kids

    A man went to New York on a business trip. When the trip was over, he took a cab to get to the airport. The cab driver decided to have a little fun at the man’s expense, so he asked, “My mother had three kids, one was my brother, one was my sister, who was […] More

  • Beautiful goldfish

    Diane buys a hundred goldfish. There are so many of them that she decides to keep them in her bathtub. One day she invites her friend Lauren over to see all her beautiful goldfish. Lauren is impressed, and says, “They surely are beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?” […] More

  • Where’s Mom and dad?

    A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, “Where’s Mom and dad?” and she replied, “They’re up in bed.” The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, “Where’s Mom and Dad?” and […] More

  • It’s My Computer

    Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “All right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, right click on ‘My Computer’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!” More

  • It’s magic

    David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to show him a trick. “I will”, replies a guy in the audience, “but I’m going to need your wife Claudia and a table.” “Ok”, says David and the guy gets on stage. He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down […] More

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