2017

Yearly Archives

Latest stories

  • Sounds great!

    An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying. The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The old man looks at the bartender through Teary eyes and between sobs says, “I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper, Extremely sensitive to my […] More

  • Loud Disturbance

    My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone. “Hello,” she whispered. “Hi, honey. How’s your mother?” I asked. “She’s sleeping,” she answered, again in a whisper. “Did she go to the doctor?” “Yes. She got some medicine,” my niece said softly. “Well, don’t […] More

  • Help Wanted

    The candidate was interviewing for a job at a phone answer center and was asked to make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green. After thinking about it for a couple of minutes, the reply was, “When the phone goes GREEN, GREEN, GREEN, I PINK up the phone and say YELLOW!” She got […] More

  • Predict the Weather

    To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it’s probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog’s fur looks like it’s been rubbed the wrong […] More

  • I have news

    A woman goes away on vacation and has her brother watch her cat. On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her that the cat is dead. The woman immediately goes into hysterics, really upset and says, “You can’t tell a person bad news like that. […] More

  • Security Check!!!

    When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries the cashier instructed, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this unnecessary security rubbish, I did just as she instructed. After the shrieking and hysteria finally subsided, I found out she was referring […] More

  • That kid never learns!

    A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, […] More

  • Jar number 47

    A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do – everyone except for grouchy Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic. Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this ‘miracle doctor’ to prove that he wasn’t anybody special. When it was time for his appointment […] More

  • $200 fine

    A pick pocket was pronounced guilty and sentenced to pay a $200 fine by the judge. His defense lawyer, knowing that his client could not pay the fine, pleaded with the judge asking, “Your honor, my client can only afford $50. But if you allow him a few minutes in the crowd…” More

  • Communicative type

    Paul picked this woman up in a nightclub and took her home. While they were walking home he didn’t say a thing. “You’re not the communicative type, are you?” she said as they were undressing. “Nah,” Paul replied and pulled out his old fella. “I do all my talking with this.” “Damn,” said the girl […] More

  • Runaway

    A Blonde woman was standing near a train platform in New York with a pair of handcuffs and some rope. A gentleman being curious asked the blonde what the handcuffs and rope were for. The blonde responded by saying, “The news reported a runaway train heading to New York and I want the reward for […] More

  • Army Girl

    “Daddy,” said my 10-year-old daughter, “I think I want to join the Army.” “Baby,” I answered, “I think the Air Force would be a better option for you.” “But I don’t want to be a pilot.” “You don’t have to be a pilot,” I told her. “There are other jobs in the Air Force.” Her […] More

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