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  • Special Order

    A man goes into a coffee shop and says, “I would like one of your special breakfasts.” “No problem,” comes the reply from behind the counter. “But I want it my way,” says the man. “What do you mean ‘your way’?” asks the waiter. The man says, “Well, I want the eggs only half done,” […] More

  • Who’s been?

    A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling “Who’s been screwing my wife?” A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, “You don’t have enough ammo, mate!” More

  • Com-for-at-ble

    A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.” […] More

  • Human Beans

    A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence. “My father grows beans,” said one girl. “My mother cooks beans,” said a boy. A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.” More

  • Surprising the cow

    The farmer and his wife are entertaining the local bigwigs when their son runs in and announces to his father in a loud voice, “Dad, dad, the bull’s f**king the cow.” After a moment of shocked silence, the farmer turns to his son and calmly says, “Next time, son, be a little less explicit. You should have said. “The bull […] More

  • Want a day off work?

    So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away […] More

  • Vanishing Cream

    During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around […] More

  • Honest?

    Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. What’s yours?” asked the first boy. “Tommy,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Billy. Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.” “Honest?” asked […] More

  • Loving Wife!

    After examining a patient the doctor took his wife aside and told her that her husband was gravely ill but there were 3 things she could do to ensure his survival. 1. Give him three nutritious meals every day. 2. Do not nag him. 3. Make love to him every night. While driving back home […] More

  • Health Minister

    The health minister is visiting a psychiatric ward. He asks the head of psychology, “How do you determine if a patient is cured.” The psychologist explains: “We take them to the bathtub, which is filled with water, hand them a spoon and a cup and ask them to empty the bathtub.” “I see,” says the […] More

  • Dead or alive

    A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas.  The banks offered a reward for his capture, dead or alive, but offered a much larger award for the recovery of the stolen funds. An enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a […] More

  • The guilt!

    This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor`s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its […] More

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