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  • Sergeants

    Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Leroys says, “Hey, Jasper, there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in.” “But we’s privates,” protests Jasper. “We’s sergeants now,” says Leroy, pulling him inside. “Now, Jasper, I’m a-gonna […] More

  • But poor Mom..

    When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place. “It’s terrific,” he said. “I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room… But poor Mom is still in with Dad.” More

  • I thought..

    A policeman was checking up about a robbery in a home. The policeman asked the lady of the house, “This is the messiest room I ever saw. You should have reported the robbery right away.” The woman said, “I didn’t know it was a robbery. I thought my husband had been looking for a clean […] More

  • The Practicing Doctor

    My doctor says she’s been practicing medicine for ten years… I asked her to call me when she’s done practicing and gets serious. More

  • Confessions

    Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, “You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a kleptomaniac. But, don’t worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for […] More

  • The first one

    The farmer’s daughter was about to go to bed with her blind date when she burst into tears. “I’m afraid you’ll get the wrong idea about me,” she said between sobs. “I’m really not that kind of girl!” “I believe ya,” her date said, as he tried to comfort her. “You’re the first one,” she […] More

  • $2 model

    A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn’t want to spend a lot of money. “How much do they cost?” he asked the salesman. “Anything from $2 to $2,000.” “Can I see the $2 model?” said the customer. The salesman put the device around the man’s neck, and said: “You just […] More

  • Old Aunt Dora

    Old Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. “It’s terrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Naturally,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again […] More

  • Give Her What She Wants

    Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper. He replies, “Newspaper? Are yo really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead.” The wife takes the iPad and uses it to kill a cockroach. Her husband faints. More

  • A student cheating

    A teacher caught a student cheating on his Botany exam and brought him into the principal’s office. “Miss Smith,” asked the principal. “How do you know Johnny was cheating?” “Because,” replied Miss Smith, “I found that he had 7 flowers tucked inside his jacket and a bunch of pollen up his sleeve. This makes me […] More

  • For posterity

    When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonoṛṛhoea. Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonoṛṛhoea.” Replied the widow, “Yes, […] More

  • New clothes

    “Hey John, you got yourself new pants and a shirt.” “My wife got them for me.” “Must have been a surprise.” “Sure was. I come home and there they were on a chair in the bedroom!” More

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