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  • At least twice as large

    A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”. Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off […] More

  • Meals on Wheels

    A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter met the cat at the gate and said, “Welcome. Is there anything you didn’t have on Earth that I can get for you, here in Heaven?”. The cat thought for a moment and said, “Yes, I always had to sleep on a hard floor, could I […] More

  • I Lost My Car Keys

    Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed […] More

  • Scared Swimmer!

    While fishing off the Australia coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of crocodiles kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any crocs around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” Feeling […] More

  • Pushing The Wrong Way…

    Two boys were struggling with a huge table in a doorway. They pushed and pulled and upped it and downed it until both were exhausted. Between gasps for air, one managed to say, “We better give up… because we’ll never get this table into the house.” “Into the house?” screamed the other. “I thought we […] More

  • A bar owner locked up his plac

    A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. “What time do you open up in the morning?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire. The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and […] More

  • I Dare You

    At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. “I’m a millionaire,” he said, “and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and […] More

  • Just Checkup

    A naked woman is bouncing on her bed singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, “You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you’re doing?” She says, “I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen year […] More

  • How did school go today?

    “How did school go today? a mother asked her little boy. “Fine”, the little fellow replied. “We had a new teacher and she wanted to know if I had any brothers and I told her I was an only child”. What did she say?” his mother asked. “ The teacher said, “Thank goodness” More

  • Marry Me Again

    One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. “What did you marinate this in?” he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn’t be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her […] More

  • That dead

    A mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably long penis. He called in his receptionist to show her. She took one look and said, “That’s just like my Harry’s.” “You mean he’s got one that long?” the mortician asked. “No,” she replied. “That dead.” More

  • The loving wife…

    A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all […] More

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