joker

Latest stories

  • Cookies

    An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort […] More

  • Mongoose

    The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose.” “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of snakes. […] More

  • Colors

    A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, “An enemy ship is approaching us!” The captain replies calmly, “Go get my red shirt.” The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. […] More

  • A little head

    A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender can’t help but stare at the guy because in contrast to his large muscles, the man has a head that is the size of an orange. The bartender hands the guy his beer and says, “You know, I’m not gay but […] More

  • Accidentally kissed

    A Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer are sitting in a train carriage together. The train goes into a tunnel and there is complete darkness. Suddenly there is a kissing sound then the sound of a really hard slap. When the train comes out the tunnel, the Englishman and Claudia are sitting as if nothing […] More

  • Rotten luck

    A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in ‘Vegas. She’s down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?” A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, “I don’t know… why don’t you play your age?” He […] More

  • Always talk to you this way?

    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, “Now don’t be […] More

  • Feeling rowdy

    A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion “Later, the lion confronts a wildebeest and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?” The terrified […] More

  • Ribbon

    There was a woman who had a dog that snored. She called her vet to find out if there was anything that would stop the snoring. The vet suggested that she tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles. So, she went to her sewing basket, found a length of ribbon and tied it around the […] More

  • Cold Cream

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?” More

  • Emergency Signals

    Two avid hunters take a hunter’s safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air. Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost. One says to the other, “What shall we do?” The other says, I know fire three shots in […] More

  • A Little Girl Wants To Go

    A little nine-year-old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. “Mommy,” she said, “Can we leave now?” “No” her mother replied. “Well, I think I have to throw up!” “Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush.” In […] More

Load More
Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.