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  • Poison

    A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s […] More

  • Vampires…

    Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.” The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.” The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?” More

  • National Love Making

    A Frenchman, an Italian and an Canadian were discussing love-making. “Last night I made love to my wife three times” boasted the Frenchman. “She was in sheer ectasy this morning…” “Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times,” the Italian responded, “and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told […] More

  • The sign

    Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because, of the sign! Teacher: What sign? Student: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.” More

  • Never Talk to the Parrot

    Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, […] More

  • Better Both Visit the Doctor

    This old man in his eighty’s got up and was putting on his coat. His wife said, “Where are you going ?” He said, “I’m going to the doctor.” And she said, “Why? Are you sick?” “No,” he said. “I’m going to get me some of those new Viagra pills.” So his wife got up […] More

  • Balcony Life

    Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. “There’s a […] More

  • Blind man and his dog…

    A blind man was out walking with his seeing-eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man’s leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog’s head. Having watched what happened, a bystander said, “Why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!” “I know,” […] More

  • Looks good…

    There is this guy named Leon. One day Leon decided to go for walk. He runs into his old neighbor Joe. “Hey Leon yous looking good” Joe says. “I feels good” said Leon “But Leon you smells bad” said Joe Well Leon kept on going, he then ran into his preacher. “Hey Leon yous looking […] More

  • The Old Typewriter

    The boys had been up in the attic together helping with some cleaning. The kids uncovered an old manual typewriter and asked her, “Hey Mom, what’s this?” “Oh, that’s an old typewriter,” she answered, thinking that would satisfy their curiosity. “Well, what does it do?” they queried. “I’ll show you,” she said and returned with […] More

  • 24 Hours Left

    A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for s*x. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey,you know I […] More

  • Lie detector

    A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. He asks his son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?” “At school.” The robot slaps the son. “Okay, I went to the movies!” The father asks, “Which one?” “Harry Potter.” The robot slaps the […] More

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