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  • Is honesty the best policy?

    After two years of marriage, Tom was still questioning his wife about her lurid past. “C’mon, tell me,” Tom asked for the thousandth time, “how many men have you been with?” “Baby, ” she protested, “If I told you, you’d throw a fit.” Tom promised he wouldn’t get angry, and convinced his wife to tell […] More

  • Business

    A man walked into a cafe,went to the bar and ordered a beer. “Certainly, Sir , that’ll be one cent.” One Cent?” the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?” “A nickel,” the barman replied. “A nickel?” exclaimed the man. “Where’s […] More

  • Worries While Flying

    Two statisticians were travelling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but don’t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, he announced that […] More

  • You’re Wrong, Officer

    The police officer approaches the driver, “When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.” The lady driver looks at the officer and replies, “You’re wrong, officer, it’s only my hat that makes me look that old.” More

  • Not The Smartest Sports Fan

    After football fans in one particular city were treated to a particularly excruciating loss earlier in the season, a man phoned a sports-radio talk-show host to say, “Everyone should call in and give one word for that game.” “What’s your word?” the host replied. “Bored out of my mind,” said the caller. More

  • Just the Past

    Wife goes to an astrologer to learn more about her husband. The astrologer asks her, “Do you want to know about your husband’s future?” Without hesitation, the wife responds. “I will decide his future, you just tell me about his past.” More

  • Uninvited Announcement

    Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements. Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into […] More

  • It’s Quite Complicated

    Doctor: Your case is quite complicated. Patient: Why doctor? What happened? Doctor: You got a disease from the chapter which I left as optional during my studies. More

  • Runner’s Euphoria

    A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially […] More

  • Expensive Lessons

    A father was buying bass lessons for his son. After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, “On my 1st lesson we learned about the E string.” The 2nd week came and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, “On […] More

  • How to Say No to Smoking

    I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to “be cool”. As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, “Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool […] More

  • Bosses versus workers

    When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that […] More

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