Blonde Jokes

A blonde woman, a priest, a pilot, and a high schooler are all on a crashing plane. There are only enough parachutes to save three of them, and the pilot is the first to jump out. He grabs a parachute and says, “I’m a pilot! People need me to fly planes!” and then jumps out. […] More

The Boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up one of his blonde clerk on the ground floor for an important file. Since it was rather urgent the Boss told the clerk it was an emergency and that she should hurry with the file. After more than 30 minutes the blonde […] More

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, […] More

A blonde has been working in a broom factory since childhood, despite the state’s strict anti-child labor laws, and has always been a good worker. But one day, she storms into her boss’ office. “I quit! That’s it, I’m not working here anymore!” “Why?” asks the boss. “What’s the problem?” “I’ve been working here for […] More

A blonde is speaking to a psychiatrist. Blonde, “I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.” Psychiatrist, “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” Blonde, “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” […] More

Two blondes are walking around a zoo, when one says, “Look at that lion with one eye!” The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?” More

It was the first time a blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family, so she prepared a dinner by herself. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. “Mom, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” the blonde said. “Did it […] More

Three moms, a Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde, get together one afternoon. They were all talking one day and the brunette says “Oh my gosh y’all I went through my daughter’s purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed” They comfort […] More

A blonde was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick. “Here, this is how you do it.” he said, as he easily […] More

There were these three women. One blonde, one red, and one brunet. They were all about to be shot. One by one. When the brunet came up, the man asked “Do you have any last words before you die?” The brunet said “No.” Then the man said, “Ok. Ready, aime…” then before the man could […] More