Blonde Jokes

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  • How many is a Brazilian?

    A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster announces that six Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident. The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably. Confused, her husband says: “It is sad, but they were skydiving. There were risks involved.” “I know,” the blonde says. “But how many is a Brazilian?” More

  • Climb The Pole

    A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby. For whatever reason, she decided to do it. When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her: “Don’t you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear?” The girl […] More

  • Cow Horns

    A blonde asked a farmer, “Why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, cattle can do a lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep them trimmed down. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the […] More

  • Yelling for Help…

    Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others, “I think the […] More

  • Library complaints

    A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said: “I have a complaint!” “Yes, Ma’am?” said the librarian looking up at her. “I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!” Puzzled by her complaint the librarian asked: “What was wrong with it?” “It had way too many characters and […] More

  • How should I know?!

    A married couple were asleep w… A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here?” and hung up. The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife said, “I […] More

  • Paint my porch

    A blonde wanting to earn extra money decided to do odd jobs for her wealthy neighbors. At the first house, the owner said,” Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” “$50” she replies. The man agrees and gives her the paint and brushes and goes back in the house. The man’s […] More

  • Wedding anniversary

    A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her […] More

  • PE Teacher!

    A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for 16 – 18 year olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. “Are you ok?” […] More

  • Bum Deodorant

    A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like […] More

  • 5th floor

    A guy was running for an elevator and he stuck his hand in to stop the doors, and the doors opened. Inside stood a blonde. He said, “Good morning, which floor are you going to?” She responded, “3rd floor.” He pushed the 3rd floor button, plus the 5th floor for himself. As the elevator started […] More

  • 2+2

    At a convention of blondes, a speaker insisted that “dumb blonde” myth is all wrong. To prove it he asked one cute young volunteer, “How much is 101 plus 20?” The blonde answered, “120.” “No,” he said, “that’s not right.” The audience called out, “Give her another chance.” So the speaker asked the blonde, “How […] More

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