Family Jokes

Subterms

Latest stories

  • How were people born?

    A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we […] More

  • Overheard At The Fair…

    Little girl: I want cotton candy! Mom: You can have some cotton candy after you eat something 
healthy. Little girl: I want cotton candy now! Mom: I said no, you’re going to have something healthy! How about a corn dog? More

  • Gifts

    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said: “I built a big house for our mother.” The second said: “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.” The third said: “You remember how our mother enjoys reading […] More

  • Spendthrift

    A father and his son were looking at a nativity scene in a London gallery. It was Titian’s world-famous painting of the scene at Bethlehem. The boy said, “Dad, why is the baby lying in such a crude cradle in a pile of straw?” “Well, son,” explained the father, “they were poor, and they couldn’t […] More

  • Thank You for This Food

    A 4-year-old boy was asked to give thanks before a big dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began […] More

  • The Butt Biter

    A few years ago when my girlfriend still lived with her parents, I managed to pull a real lu-lu. I came out of the bathroom at the end of the hall in her parents’ home and as I walked past my girlfriend’s bedroom I saw her making the bed. She was kneeling on the bed […] More

  • To Do List

    When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work. I promptly added: “Send Michelle money every month.” A few days later my brother wrote: “Make payments on […] More

  • Young and beautiful

    A man and his wife received a letter from their daughter who went to study overseas: My beloved Parents, I miss you so much. I don’t know when I’m coming home, but it seems not anytime soon. It breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you’ll be too old. So […] More

  • Sister in law

    I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her […] More

  • How to Say No to Smoking

    I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to “be cool”. As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, “Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool […] More

  • A Home Affair

    My client buys many rental properties, not always with the 
enthusiastic support of his wife. Recently, I was showing him a home when his wife called. I could hear her ask what he was doing. “The real estate agent and I are having an affair,” he answered. “Oh, thank God,” she said. “I thought she […] More

  • Home Improvement

    Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan. I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts: “Stop right there. This […] More

Load More
Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.