Family Jokes | Hot Jokes

Magician

A guy wants to become a magician so he goes out and buys a magician book. Later he gathers his family around the living room for his first trick. Reading his new book he reaches into a bag and pulls out a hammer and to the amazement of his family hits himself in the head […] More

Ginger!

A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost […] More

All for free

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the […] More

Dilemma

One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen. “What’s wrong dearest??” asked the confused husband. “Oh darling,” sobbed the wife, “I was cleaning little Suzie’s room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic magazine! What ever are we […] More

Bad Drivers

There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ”Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” Herman says, ”I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!” More

Dad’ Role!

My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. “I look like Mom,” said my nine-year-old, “but I have Dad’s eyes and Dad’s lips.” The six-year-old said, “And I look just like Dad, but I have light hair.” Then she turned to me. “Mom,” she asked, “what does Dad have to do with us […] More

Afraid of the Dark

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.” The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have […] More

In Fifty Years

Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. ‘I would like my grandchildren to say, ‘He was successful in business’ , declared the first man. ‘Fifty years from now, ‘said the second, ‘I want them to say, ‘He was a loyal family man’ . Turning […] More

Family Finances

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here.” More

Spaghetti

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have […] More

Gray Hairs

One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother […] More

Remember ?!

The little boy’s mother had been away for a week’s conference and on returning she asked her son how he’d been. “OK,” said Ben. “Except there was dreadful thunder and lightning on Tuesday night so me and Daddy snuggled up in the same bed.” “You mean Daddy and I,” said his young nanny. “Oh no,” […] More

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