Joke of the day

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  • Get in trouble

    Student: “Should I get in trouble for something I didn’t do?” Teacher: “No.” Student: “Good, because I didn’t do my homework.” More

  • All About Adam

    Wandering dejectedly in The Garden of Eden, Eve told God, “I’m lonely I’m tired of eating apples by myself.” “Okay,” God said, “I’ll create a man for you.” Eve said, “A man! What’s that?” “He’s a creature with aggressive tendencies and an enormous ego. He won’t listen very well, he’ll get lost easily, but never […] More

  • NASA Mars Mission

    NASA was interviewing professionals they were planning on sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way trip, the guy would never return to Earth. The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. “One million […] More

  • Having a Bad Day

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric socket. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she ran outside and grabbed a handy plank of wood and smacked him with it, […] More

  • Sausage Factory

    There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought,”This should impress him! He showed his son a machine […] More

  • Classic Comeback

    If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman’s credibility. Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir. But I subsequently […] More

  • Shoes & Boots Sale

    A large store was having its spring sale on shoes and boots. It was the first day of the sale, and the shoe department was fully of women who were eagerly trying to buy them. There were all kinds of shoes and boots in a variety of colors, and the prices had been reduced a […] More

  • Burglary Witness

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take the goods.” The lawyer asks Sam again, “Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?” “Yes, says […] More

  • At least twice as large

    A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”. Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off […] More

  • I Lost My Car Keys

    Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed […] More

  • Pushing The Wrong Way…

    Two boys were struggling with a huge table in a doorway. They pushed and pulled and upped it and downed it until both were exhausted. Between gasps for air, one managed to say, “We better give up… because we’ll never get this table into the house.” “Into the house?” screamed the other. “I thought we […] More

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