Marriage Jokes | Hot Jokes

To the Moon

After the tiring wedding ceremony, the tired groom gets romantic and says to the bride, “Darling, should I take you on a ride to the Moon or do you prefer the stars?” The bridely replies, “Sweetheart, why don’t you show me your rocket first. I will decide only after I see it.” More

Expensive Dress!

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as […] More

Newly Married Bride

Once a mother-in-law explaining the working of her house to her newly married Daughter-in-law. She said, “I am the home minister as well as the finance minister of this house. Your Father in law is the Foreign minister of this house. My son, that is your husband, heads the ministry of demand and supply and […] More

Daring Husband

A famous inspirational speaker said: “Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife.” Audience was in shock and silence. He added: “She was my mother.” (A big round of plause & laughter) A very daring husband tried to crack this at home. After dinner, he said […] More

Small Town Policeman

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Quiet!” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said be quiet! […] More

A Marriage Made in Heaven

A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven. St. Peter tells them that he’ll do his […] More

Organic Vegetables

During a Coffee Break, two men were talking, “My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market garden.” said the first man. “So were you able to find some?” the second man, asked. “Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, ‘These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been […] More

Good luck

Two astronauts successfully landed on the moon and transmitted their thoughts and feelings back to mission control. They described the moon’s surface, the temperature, the atmosphere and their own feelings of elation at being there. Just as transmission was going off, one of the astronauts was heard to say, “Good luck Mr Collins”. When the men eventually returned to earth […] More

Stages of marriage

“There are three different stages of marriage” said Dad to his son on the boy’s wedding day. “When you’re newlyweds, you have se* wherever and whenever you want it – the house, the garden, in the supermarket, all over the place. But then comes stage 2. After you’ve been married for some time, se* is […] More

Use it

A married couple is travelling by car from Victoria to Prince George. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they checked out four hours […] More

Attention All!

There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, “ATTENTION ALL,” and farts loudly. The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says, “Excuse me, you just farted before my wife.” The drunks replies, “I’m sorry, I […] More

Secret of a Happy Marriage!

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or […] More

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