Office Jokes

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  • Trouble Sleeping

    The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked. “Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac.” “I see,” he said. “I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is \\$80 an hour.” “That’s not bad,” she replied. […] More

  • Imagination

    Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the manager asked. “When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years’ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you’ve ever had.” “Well,” the young man […] More

  • Message on the desk

    There was a message on his desk that the boss wanted to see him as soon as he arrived. The boss didn’t look very happy when Jim reported to his office. The older man didn’t say anything, he just pointed at the newspaper on his desk. It was opened to the sports page, and there […] More

  • Need a Break!

    I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. Santa, my co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending […] More

  • Late for Work

    Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […] More

  • Get to work!

    A guy runs into his office, wearing only a hat and carrying a briefcase. His boss stops him and says, “What are you doing, Cliff? Do you realize you’re naked? Shouldn’t this be your day off?” Cliff calmly explains that he was on a party when suddenly the lights went out. Some voice said, “Gentleman, […] More

  • Barracks door

    The manager hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. While leaving the room, she courteously said, “Oh, sir, did you know that your barracks door is open?” He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down […] More

  • A tree full of monkeys

    An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. More

  • Work Phone

    The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss. Dad: This is unacceptable. I don’t use home phone, I use my work phone. Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my companies phone. Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home phone. All of them […] More

  • Your hair smells nice

    A man walks up to a woman in his office every day, stands very close to her, inhales a big breath of air through his nose and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can’t stand it anymore and and complains to her Supervisor in HR. Without identifying the […] More

  • The boss

    The boss of a major manufacturing facility was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning, he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door. Later that day, when he […] More

  • One day an employee came in to

    One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged. When his boss asked him what happened, he explained: “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!” “Well,” the boss said, “that explains one ear, but what about the […] More

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