Office Jokes

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  • The same question

    One day three women went for a job interview. The man interviewing them posed all three the same question. What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your paycheck that you shouldn’t have received? The first one said, “I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to […] More

  • New secretary…

    A guy walked into his friend’s office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. “Hey, what’s up with you?”, he asks. “Oh, its my wife,” replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.” “Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?” “Neither, He’s bald.” More

  • I Want This Done Right

    A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office where another man is sitting next to a shredding machine. “Do you know how to operate this thing?” he asks. “I have an important paper here and I want to make sure this is done right.” “Sure,” the other man answers. […] More

  • Uninvited Announcement

    Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements. Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into […] More

  • Bosses versus workers

    When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that […] More

  • Running a small business

    Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. “I started a new practice last year,” the first one said. “I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months.” “Why in the world would you do that?” the other asked. She responded, “It’s the […] More

  • Best balls

    Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked him how his weekend was. He said he played a little golf. So his co-worker asked him how well he did. “I hit two of my best balls,” he said. “Tell me about it,” said his co-worker. “I stepped on a rake.” More

  • Work telephones

    The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting. Dad: “People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.” Mum: “Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use […] More

  • Keynote

    A boss was educating an employee on effective sales technique. “The main thing to remember is that repetition, repetition, repetition is the keynote!” he advised. “If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every possible way, cram it down people’s throats and beat them over the head with it! Above all, […] More

  • Do the same thing

    A boss called one of his workers into the office. “Now listen, Simms, you’re going to have to pull your socks up or I’ll have to sack you. For the past few weeks you’ve been constantly late, you’ve made silly mistakes and you’ve not been civil to your fellow workers. What do you have to say for yourself?” “I’m […] More

  • I don’t know

    The young man was obsessed by the beautiful secretary in his office. He just had to kiss her and touch her body and … One day, he plucked up the courage to speak to her. “I think you’re so gorgeous, if I paid you $250, would you come into the storeroom with me so that I can […] More

  • Discrimination

    Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” To which […] More

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