Office Jokes

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  • Boss Issues

    A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss”. He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found […] More

  • Lay you or

    Two managers are going over their budget for the next year. After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants, Jack or Jane. They go back and forth but can’t decide who to lay off. Finally, one manager decides that they lay […] More

  • Life after

    “Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir,” the clerk replied. “That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.” More

  • Train Test

    Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?” Tom says: […] More

  • Get a job!

    The Social Security said to Johnny, “Why don’t you get a job?” “What for?” he replied. “So you can put some money in the bank until one day you’ll have enough to retire and you can stop working.” “But I’m not working now,” he retorted. More

  • Ex-boss

    A man rings up his ex-boss but is told by the secretary that Mr Grinder has passed away. All day the man continues to ring until the secretary eventually says, “Why do you keep calling?” “I just like to hear you say it,” says the man happily. More

  • Pretty sick

    A man rings up his boss to tell him he won’t be in to work. “I’m sorry, I’m sick,” he tells him. “Sick again?” says the boss angrily “This seems to be happening a lot. How sick are you?” “Pretty sick” replies the man. “I’m in bed with my sister.” More

  • Talented Dog

    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.” A short time afterward, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign […] More

  • Must help

    Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” “We’re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.” “Thanks, boss,” says Smith […] More

  • Job examination !

    Jill and Pam applied for a single position at a company, and both were given a written exam to determine their qualifications. When the exams were scored, it was found that both applicants missed only one question. The hiring manager told Jill, “Thank you, but I`ve decided to go with the other candidate.” “What?” cried […] More

  • The Young Businessman

    A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw […] More

  • Sick day

    A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,he dialed the employee’s cell phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. “Hello.” “Is your daddy home?” he asked. “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I talk […] More

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