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  • Last night

    This guy says to his buddy, “You’ll never believe what happened last night.” His buddy says, “Well then, tell me what happened.” The guy says, “Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch.” She said, “Can I stay here for a few days?” I […] More

  • Stunningly Beautiful…

    I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car. Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend.” He said, “Why? Is she a […] More

  • Walking in the forest

    An old old woman is walking in the forest with a gun. She meets a young man and says to him suspiciously, “Wanna rape me, huh?” “No, no, certainly not.” (Pointing her gun on him) “But you will.” More

  • Cannibal Feast

    An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction and went down. A few weeks later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. […] More

  • It’s For The Dog

    When our client’s dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment… an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. “Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find,” he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain […] More

  • Why did you laugh?

    There were three men who got stranded on an island. A group of cannibals found the three men and took them to their place in the tropical rainforest of an island. The cannibals told the three men to go in the rainforest and find ten of the same fruits each. So the three of them […] More

  • Basic Maths!

    The school teacher was taking the class in basic maths. She said to little Johnny, “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many have you got?” “Seven,” replied Johnny. “No, Johnny,” explained the teacher. “That’s not the right answer. Listen. If I give you two apples, then I […] More

  • Very nice

    One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and more piercings than they wanted to count. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.” […] More

  • The Brave Wife

    A husband and wife entered a dentist’s office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You are a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The wife turns […] More

  • The postman

    Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said, “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.” The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.” The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey […] More

  • The young wife

    The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude. “That’s OK with me, honey,” says her husband. “I’ll go get some wood for the fire.” About thirty minutes later, […] More

  • Midday Surprise

    The week we got our puppy, I caught a stomach bug and stayed home from work one day. That afternoon, my wife called to check up on me. “I’m okay,” I said. “But guess who pooped in the dining room?” My wife’s response, “Who?” More

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