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  • Who’s counting

    A lady called up a pet store and said, “I’d like to order 2,000 cockroaches.” “What in the world do you want with 2,000 cockroaches?” asked the astonished clerk. “Well,” she replied, “I am moving today, and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found it.” More

  • Where’s Mom and dad?

    A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, “Where’s Mom and dad?” and she replied, “They’re up in bed.” The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, “Where’s Mom and Dad?” and […] More

  • It’s magic

    David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to show him a trick. “I will”, replies a guy in the audience, “but I’m going to need your wife Claudia and a table.” “Ok”, says David and the guy gets on stage. He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down […] More

  • Two weeks later…

    While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes. “Wow! What a great idea,” he thinks to himself and buys three of them. Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper. More

  • Have you ever seen…

    “Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?” asked the wife. “No,” the husband said. She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill. “Have you ever seen a fifty dollar bill all crumpled up?” she asked. “No,” he said. She […] More

  • Going On Vacation

    A housewife answered the door bell to find two beggars outside. “So you’re begging in two’s now?” she asked. “No, only for today,” one of them replied. “I’m showing my replacement the ropes before going on vacation.” More

  • Nice flowers!

    An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.” His wife was […] More

  • Trip to the mall

    On a trip to the mall, a couple agreed to split up, visit their favorite shops and meet up again in an hour and a half. So while he visited the bike shop and the sporting goods store, she concentrated on the biggest clothing store. When he met up with her ninety minutes later as […] More

  • You aren’t the first doctor..

    Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, “Howard. Don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first doctor to sleep […] More

  • True bravery

    True bravery is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out with the boys, then being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: “Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?” More

  • Anger management

    Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush. More

  • Security Check!!!

    When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries the cashier instructed, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this unnecessary security rubbish, I did just as she instructed. After the shrieking and hysteria finally subsided, I found out she was referring […] More

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