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  • In bed waiting

    Julie was in bed waiting for her new lover to strip off. When he did, she was so amazed at the size of his “tool”, she jumped out of bed and rummaged in her handbag.” What are you doing?” said the surprised man. “I’m looking for a pencil, you’ve got to draw the line somewhere.” More

  • Female company

    After spending six months in a desert outpost, the new recruit goes to see his commanding officer. “I’m sorry, Sir, but this place is driving me nuts. If only we had some female company.” “Well, I can’t do anything about that, son,” replies the officer, “but we do have something else. There’s a barrel over […] More

  • Room 24

    The man rang the local mental institution and asked to speak to the patient in room 24. “I’m sorry, sir, room 24 is unoccupied at present.” “Whoopee,” shouted the man. “I did it, I escaped.” More

  • Don’t be silly..

    A little boy ran into his mother’s room crying hysterically. “I don’t want my willy any more,” he sobbed, “it’s bad to have one.” “Don’t be silly, darling,” she replied. “Of course it’s not bad, why do you say that?” “Because I’ve just seen daddy in the bathroom and he’s trying to pull his off.” More

  • What would you like?

    The man was approached by the most beautiful sales girl he had ever seen. “Can I help you, Sir,” she said. “What would you like?” “What would I like…?” he mused. “I would like to take you away from all this. We would go to the most elegant restaurant in town, linger over the port […] More

  • Terrible effect

    Two women talking over the garden wall. The first said: “It’s no good Julie, I’m at my wits end. I can’t stand the sight of George any longer. He treats me like sh*t, he’s never at home, he just uses the place as an hotel and I know he’s shagging everyone in sight. It’s had […] More

  • Family Business

    A businessman books into a country hotel, asks for breakfast at 8.30 and requests a girl to come to his room after dinner that night. “That’s outrageous!” says the wife. “What sort of hotel does he think we are running? Go and tell him, Fred.” But her husband thinks it’s a lot of fuss about […] More

  • New hand

    “Your new hand has taken perfectly,” said the doctor, “Everything’s connected up well, so what’s the problem?” “Well, doc, it’s not a problem most of the time, but you gave me a female hand and every time I go for a piss, it won’t let go.” More

  • The milkman

    The milkman delivers the milk the day before Christmas and rings the bell of number 11, hoping for a festive tip. As the door opens, he sees a beautiful woman standing there wearing a see-through nightie. She takes him by the hand and guides him upstairs where she makes mad passionate love to him. At […] More

  • Come quickly

    An emergency call was made to the local police station. “Come quickly,” gasped the voice, “a burglar is trapped in the bedroom of an old spinster.” “We’ll be right there,” said the desk sergeant. “May I ask who’s talking?” “It’s me, the burglar, help!” More

  • Did it hurt?

    Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee. One turns to the other and says, “Your dinky doesn’t have any skin on it.” “That’s because I’ve been circumcised,” he replies. “Cor! What does that mean?” “It means the skin’s been cut off the end.” “How old were you when they did that?” […] More

  • Well..

    A little girl went into her parents bedroom to find her parents in bed. “Well!” she exclaimed. “And you tell me off just for sucking my thumb.” More

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