Hot Jokes | Hot Jokes

Free Whiskey

A soldier, who was habitually drunk, publicly announced to all the men in his company and surrounding companies that he was swearing off drinking and that all the other soldiers should give up this foul habit also. The other soldiers would tease him to fall off the wagon by giving him whiskey and get him […] More

Chinese Jews!

Smith and Jones were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Smith,” asked Jones, “are there any Jews in China?” “I don’t know,” Smith replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?” When the waiter came by, Jones asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?” Waiter: “No Chinese Jews, Sir.” “Are you really sure?” Jones asked again. “I […] More

Bob, The Chicken

Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Bob.” Bob was stunned. “I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back! Please!” […] More

The Scuba Diver

One day, a scuba diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. Looking around, he saw a guy at the same depth without any scuba gear on, so, he decided to go down another 20 feet. He took another look around, and low and behold, there was the same guy. I can’t […] More

Someone to love

Adam was all alone in the Garden of Eden and as he was wandering about he came across two rabbits, one humping the other. “What are those two rabbits doing?” he asked the Lord. And the Lord replied, “They are making love.” A little later he came across two doves, one mounted on the other. “Lord, what are […] More

Drunkard’s Truth!

Late one Friday night the policemen spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have. ‘Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven […] More

Stages of Drunk

The 5 Stages of Drunkenness Stage 1 – SMART: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are […] More

What does two plus two equal?

A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks “What does two plus two equal?” The mathematician replies “Four.” The interviewer asks “Four, exactly?” The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says “Yes, four, exactly.” Then the interviewer calls in the statistician and […] More

Round of Drinks!!!

A British guy walks into a bar in Central London and before he could order his drink, he notices a Sikh man wearing a turban. Having a personal grudge against sardars, the British guy says loudly to the bartender to the advantage of everyone seated in the bar, “Drinks for everyone in here, except for […] More

Fire!

A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the Brunette, “Jump! Jump! It`s your only chance to survive!” The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket […] More

A real hurry!

A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive thirty-year-old single malts and has the bartender line them up in front of him. Then, without pausing, he downs each one. “Whew,” the bartender remarks, “you seem to be in a hurry.” “You would be, too, if you had what I have.” “What do you have?” […] More

When you grow up

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to […] More

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