Religious Jokes

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    Code word

    There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing adultery. One Sunday, from the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone had committed adultery would say […] More

  • Undercover Clergy

    A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries […] More

  • Unheavenly blessed

    Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, “I was cleaning the Father’s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!” “What did you do?” the other nuns asked. “Well, of course I threw them in the trash.” The second nun said, ” Well, I can top […] More

  • The Car Wash

    A church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money for a special trip to Bethlehem. They made a large sign that read: CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP. On the scheduled Saturday, business was very good. But, by two o’clock the sky clouded, the rain poured, and there were hardly any customers.Finally, one […] More

  • Tips from the holy man

    A group of boys were going to confession one sunday. The first boy, John, says: Father, I’ve done something terrible. What have you done, John? I fu**ed a girl. Who was it? I can’t tell you, father, she would never permit it. Well, John, was it Mary M? No, father, I can’t tell you. Was […] More

  • Prayers

    A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, “Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?” A little boy answered: “My Mommy says my prayers.” “I see,” said the teacher, “and what does your Mother say?” Replied the little boy: “THANK GOD HE’S IN BED!” More

  • Some tips

    A newly ordained priest, nervous about hearing confessions, finally asks an older priest to observe how he does and give some tips. After listening in on the second confession, the older priest suggested that the younger man fold his arms, maybe rub his chin with one hand while saying phrases like “I see” or “I […] More

  • Walking on Water

    A rabbi, priest, and a minister are out fishing in a boat on a big lake when the priest realizes that he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting to disturb the fishing of the others in the boat by having them take him to shore, he gets out of the boat and walks […] More

  • Nun Sees A Naked Man

    A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation was about to die. They set up a make-shift camp, hoping someone would come to their rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died. After several days of not being rescued, they […] More

  • I Dare You

    At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. “I’m a millionaire,” he said, “and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and […] More

  • The Preacher and the Frog Princess

    An old country preacher was fishing one afternoon when he noticed a frog sitting next to him. The frog said, “Mister, I’ve had a spell cast on me. If you’ll kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess and I’ll make you happy for the rest of your life.” The old preacher smiled, picked up […] More

  • Does God Exist?

    A Christian and an atheist were neighbors. The Christian one day yells, “Lord please sends me food”. The atheist heard this and replies, “There is no GOD!” The next day the Christian wakes up and goes to her porch to find that there were bags of groceries. She yells, “Thank You LORD for this food!” […] More

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