Good news…bad news…

“I have good news and bad news,” a defense attorney told his client.
“First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim’s dress.”
“Oh, no – I’m ruined!” cried the client. “What’s the good news?”
“Your cholesterol is down to 140!”

Undercover Clergy

Charge by the inch