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  • Always talk to you this way?

    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, “Now don’t be […] More

  • Feeling rowdy

    A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?” The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion “Later, the lion confronts a wildebeest and fiercely bellows, “Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?” The terrified […] More

  • Ribbon

    There was a woman who had a dog that snored. She called her vet to find out if there was anything that would stop the snoring. The vet suggested that she tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles. So, she went to her sewing basket, found a length of ribbon and tied it around the […] More

  • Cold Cream

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. “Why do you do that, mommy?” he asked. “To make myself beautiful,” said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. “What’s the matter?” asked Little Johnny. “Giving up?” More

  • Emergency Signals

    Two avid hunters take a hunter’s safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air. Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost. One says to the other, “What shall we do?” The other says, I know fire three shots in […] More

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