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  • Eating Right

    A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, “Doc, I’m just not feeling well.” The doctor replies, “Maybe you’re not eating right.” More

  • An elderly married couple

    An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together. After the husband’s examination, the doctor then said to him, “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like discuss with me?” “In fact, I do,” said the man. “After […] More

  • Nurses Tricks

    Three nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor. The first nurse said, “I put cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn’t hear. The second nurse said, “Well, I did worse […] More

  • Being Possible

    The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room. “A football player.” “A doctor.” “An astronaut.” “The president.” “A fireman.” “A teacher.” “A race car driver.” Everyone that is, except Little Johnny. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet […] More

  • Just Checkup

    A naked woman is bouncing on her bed singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, “You look ridiculous! What on earth do you think you’re doing?” She says, “I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen year […] More

  • Aren’t real

    A young woman goes to her doctor after noticing two small circular rash marks one on each side of her inner thigh. The doctor instructs the woman to undress and sit on the table and spread her legs. Sitting between the young womans legs, the doctor looks up at the young woman and asks if […] More

  • 24 Hours Left

    A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for s*x. Naturally, she agrees, and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, “Honey,you know I […] More

  • He heart of the matter

    A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object. “I do have three hearts,” said the doctor. “The first is from […] More

  • Second Appendix

    A man phoned his doctor very late at night saying his wife appeared to have Appendicitis. “That’s impossible,” the physician replied, peeved at being woken up after midnight. “She had an appendectomy last year. Don’t be stupid. Only a moron like you would wake me up for something this idiotic. Have you ever seen anybody […] More

  • Labor pains

    A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor. When they got there, the doctor said, “I have invented a new machine that you might want to try. It takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives them to the father.” So the married couple decided that […] More

  • It’s no good

    “It’s no good, Mabel, I can’t find anything wrong with you, it must be the effects of drinking,” said the doctor. “Well, in that case I’ll come back when you’re sober!” exclaimed the woman. More

  • First child

    A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!” More

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