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  • That kid never learns!

    A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, […] More

  • The way you are thinking

    Teacher: Johnny, if there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot 1 with your gun, how many will be left? Johnny: None, the rest will fly away. Teacher: Well, the answer is 4, but i like the way you are thinking. Johnny: I have a question for you; if 3 women are […] More

  • Blind date

    After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on […] More

  • Want a day off work?

    So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away […] More

  • Young Golfer

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee […] More

  • Dr`s Receptionist

    An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?” “There’s something wrong with my d*ck,” he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.” “Why not? […] More

  • In Love

    The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, “Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?” “I’m in love,” the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, “With whom?” “With YOU!” he said. “But Johnny,” she said […] More

  • Prison Riot!

    The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, “I would like to know two things. First: Why did you revolt? Second: How did you get out of your cell?” One of the three men stepped forward, “Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful.” “I see. And what did you use […] More

  • Hairy Armpit

    A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?” The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But […] More

  • Very cold

    On another occasion the car broke down on a very cold winter’s day. “I’ll soon have it mended,” said the man and he jumped out of the car and tinkered about underneath the bonnet. Five minutes later he got back in the car and put his hands between her legs. “It’s so cold out there, […] More

  • New hand

    “Your new hand has taken perfectly,” said the doctor, “Everything’s connected up well, so what’s the problem?” “Well, doc, it’s not a problem most of the time, but you gave me a female hand and every time I go for a piss, it won’t let go.” More

  • The milkman

    The milkman delivers the milk the day before Christmas and rings the bell of number 11, hoping for a festive tip. As the door opens, he sees a beautiful woman standing there wearing a see-through nightie. She takes him by the hand and guides him upstairs where she makes mad passionate love to him. At […] More

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